This article was posted in the Youthwise Magazine’s Spring 2024 edition, if you would like to read it there, please visit this link

Working with young people can be very rewarding but also comes with challenges. This is especially true when young people lack autonomy, feel upset, anxious, or stressed, experience a sense of shame, or display behaviours of concern. A trauma-informed approach can be an effective way to calm and assist young people and build connections.  

Connection is about creating a sense of safety, whereas punishment or shaming can stimulate a fight-or-flight or negative emotional response. If we resort to punishment or shame, it can make people defensive, and our young people may put up barriers. Dr. Daniel Siegel has provided key insights to help us navigate these complex interpersonal relationships. His work within Mindfulness and Interpersonal Neurobiology has helped build frameworks to better understand our lives from a subjective and objective perspective. One such framework is the "Seen, Safe, Soothed, and Secure" model, which has proved particularly effective in the Youth sector.

Seen: Being "seen" means more than just being noticed; it's about feeling understood and connected. When our young people and children feel seen, they feel like they belong and are valued.

Safe: Feeling safe is crucial. It means being protected from harm, both physically and emotionally. It also means feeling free from things that make our young people uncomfortable or scared. Feeling safe is closely tied to feeling seen and understood.

Soothed: When young people and children are upset, they need comfort. This can be achieved by naming feelings and emotions or simply being present. Being soothed helps our young people feel better through a sense of calm.

Secure: Feeling secure means feeling safe and stable in their environment, relationships, and within themselves. When young people and children feel secure, they are more confident and better able to handle challenges.

At Maybo, we use evidence-based approaches such as Dr. Siegel's 4 S's—Seen, Safe, Soothed, and Secure. Our training provides professionals working in education, youth, and community services with the skills to ensure the safety and well-being of colleagues and the people they support. Below, one of our Maybo trainers discusses their approach when working directly with a young person in their role as a worker.

Luke is a 16-year-old who had been referred to a youth service by his grandmother as she was getting older and struggling to manage his behaviour. Luke's parents passed away in a car accident when he was 14, and his grandmother has been taking care of him since then. He was diagnosed with Autism and social anxiety and took little interest in school, preferring to stay in his room, smoking marijuana and playing video games. Luke’s grandmother said he was very shy, but when he got upset at her, he would scream, threaten violence, or storm off. Luke was reluctant to engage with a worker.

Seen - Rather than focusing on what a young person is doing wrong, the worker recognised the need for validation and built their relationship around what Luke was good at - gaming. He connected with Luke by playing games before each session.  It opened up the opportunity to have different conversations, whether about everyday life, or more profound thoughts and feelings.

Safe - His grandma primarily spoke on his behalf, often leaving Luke to shut down and disengage. The worker asked if Luke felt comfortable catching up without his grandma, and he quickly answered ‘yes’. Luke shared negative experiences associated with teachers picking on him and having no friends at school. The worker helped Luke engage in a local employment programme, which facilitated his getting a job as an apprentice landscaper. The employer who hired Luke had an Autistic son, so he was very understanding towards his needs.  

Soothed - Luke found gaming and substance use soothing, but the worker wanted to help him find additional ways to relate healthily to his environment. The worker connected Luke with a doctor who provided medication to help him. He also connected him with a youth service that assisted with his mental health and provided strategies for when he was feeling overwhelmed. 

Secure - Unfortunately, Luke's grandma removed him from the family home because he was stealing money from her. He resorted to couch-surfing and stopped attending his job. The employer called the worker, who found accommodation for him at a youth homelessness shelter.  The stable accommodation, support from workers, and consistent routine helped provide a sense of security for Luke, which led to a restoration of his relationship with his grandmother and the employer. 

This model helped the worker build a framework for him and Luke to connect better. Building person-centred strategies can significantly improve young people's quality of life.